Who Really Knows How It Feels

Lots of things have been going on in my life lately. Some good and some . . . not so good. It's easier for me to hold it in and not talk about it.  Everyone deals with their problems in different ways and this is just how I deal with mine. I don't let it interfere in my life and I don't let it change the way I act towards people . . . I just look at the world differently than most people.

I just watched a new show on Mtv called "If You Really Knew Me." It was heartbreaking and an actual reality show. Not a "reality show" like The Real World. In the show, people went into high schools and tried to break down the barriers created by cliques and stereotypes. I really wish they had that when I was in high school because then I might of had a completely different high school experience.

If people really knew me . . .

There are very few who actually do.

Who really knows how it feels to be the white girl who gets picked on for the color of her skin, day in and day out, during one the most crucial developmental periods of our lives . . . middle school.

Who really knows how it feels to say something and not even be acknowledged, to achieve something and not be recognized, or to simply be in a room and not even be seen.

Who really knows how it feels to have both parents go through major surgery within a three year period . . . one of them twice?

Who really knows how it feels to one minute be your daddy's only little girl to the next minute having two older sisters . . . one of which you never even knew existed?

Who really knows how it feels to feel completely alone even when you are constantly surrounded by people?

Who really knows how it feels to not ever be happy with what you see in the mirror or in pictures?

Who really knows how it feels to have your future threatened to be taken away from you?

Who really knows how it feels . . .

And the sad part is . . . that's not even the half of it.


If it weren't for my parents and the amazing support system I have created for myself (especially this past year) I don't know what I would do with myself.

My parents are the best out there. They are always there for me. Even when I call at 1 o'clock in the morning . . . my mom will answer and talk to me for as long as it takes. Even when I screw up big time they are accepting of me and love me unconditionally.  They tell me how special I am and how proud of me they are.

That is what gets me through my day.

The things we have or the grades we get. The money we have or the trips we go on.

They mean nothing if you don't have the right people around you. They won't make you happier.

So, tell someone how special they are to you. Tell them how the little things they do have affected you.

Everyone deserves to know how special a person they are.

Everyone deserves to know that your life would be lesser without them in it.

Everyone deserves to know that they have influenced your life for the better.

Everyone deserves to know what a gift they possess.