So my boyfriend and I broke up a little over 5 weeks ago and I've been doing surprisingly well. The breakup ended amiably and adult with us just coming to the realization that we wouldn't be together after graduation and not seeing the point in dragging on the inevitable.
I still miss some parts of the relationship, but lately I've been thinking . . . a lot of the parts I don't really miss.
The overwhelming feeling that I can't fully trust him.
Not being able to depend on him without a doubt.
Him only wanting to talk once a day and see me once or twice a week. Being ok with going a week without seeing me.
Him not even wanting to so much as hold my hand in public most of the time.
Being afraid to even ask him to hang out in fear that he would say no or bail last minute.
Him admitting that I don't fit in with his friends.
There were a lot of things wrong in my relationship, but I ignored all of it because on the rare occasion we were together . . . it was nearly perfect.
I feel myself missing him.
But I don't think I am actually missing HIM. I'm missing the security being in a relationship offers. The feeling you get when he looks at you or touches you. But not him specifically.
What I am absolutely certain of though is that I'm ready to graduate and move to Raleigh where I can start over again. And forget these past four years.
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