Changes

This time last year I was a completely different person. 

This time last year I was making promises to myself and to those around me that I did not keep.

This time last year I had become a person I did not even like to look at in the mirror.

This time last year I was the person I thought I would never become.

This time last year . . . I was someone I could barely recognize.

The changes I promised to make did not happen when I went back to school in January of 2010 . . . at least not until I hit rock bottom.

The worst place you could be in your life . . . or the best, because you can only go up from there.  That is what I needed.  I needed a boulder to hit me over the head, showing me the childish decisions I was making in my life.

And now?

When I think of my life . . . I smile.

When I look in the mirror . . . I smile.

When I think about my decisions . . . I smile.

When I think of the person I have become . . . I smile.

I have done everything this semester I said I would do (except for the whole going to the gym thing) and then went above and beyond.

I got (very) involved on campus.
I even surprised myself at the amazing grades I made.
I developed friendships that will last a lifetime.
I found an amazing guy who makes me smile everyday and makes me wonder how I ever got so lucky as to find him.
I have made my parents proud and able to brag to their friends about me (one of their favorite things to do).
I have made new friendships that I am so thankful for.
I have disconnected myself from destructive people and places.
I have found an amazing new church where I have and will grow closer to God.
I have witnessed God's presence in my life and let's just say . . . he's always very obvious about what he wants for me, and I have been truly blessed.

I cannot help but sit here and smile about the amazing things God has done in my life and he deserves so much credit for the woman I am becoming.

At times people ask if you could go back and do it all over again, would you?

Absolutely not.  It was all those . . . mistakes . . . that made me who I am, someone who I am proud of, someone who can stand proud about the decisions she is making.

I would do it all exactly the same because who knows if I had done it differently if all these amazing things would be happening in my life right now.  I'm not about to risk it.

So I say: Make lots of mistakes, because you never know what blessings they will bring you.

When I ring in the New Year I won't be setting resolutions or planning life changes or contemplating my decisions . . . I will be in the arms of the man that makes me the luckiest girl in the world, thanking God for all that he has given me, and praying that my friends and family achieve the same happiness I am experiencing, if only for a moment.

So I sit here . . . listening to Mumford and Sons sing to me in that mellifluous way they do so well . . . asking you . . . are you happy with who YOU have become?

Are you amazed at how far you have come this past year?

Are there mistakes that you've made that you haven't received the blessing from yet?

Are you the person you want to be?

I Just Don't Understand

how some people behave the way they do.

Immature.

Close-minded.

Unable to move on.

I just don't understand how people can think it's alright to take "sides" when they only know half a story (and the half they DO know is coming from someone who is renowned for emotional tugging)

I realize that I'm still just in college and only a year out of high school but every time I think I am finally getting away from that childish, silly behavior . . . once again, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I see and hear it happening around me constantly. I have it happening to me.

Is this what human nature has come to?

Is it an inevitable future that we will always regress back to the days of gossip, slander, scheming, "sides," and the "mean girl" mentality?

It is becoming a bad thing for someone to stand up for themselves and for what they believe, even if it is different from everyone else.

People are shunned and looked upon with a sneer as if they have no right to voice their own opinion.

Is our species becoming so insecure that people aren't able to handle it when someone who may not be as intelligent, or beautiful, or tall, or rich as they are speaks out against them?

What gives some people the idea that they are so much better than everyone else and that the mousy wallflower has no right to speak at all?

I feel bad for people like that. One day they will realize that beauty and money can only get you so far and it's the mousy wallflower who finally decided to break out of her shell that will have the most success, be the happiest, and have the most fulfilling life possible.

I understand now . . . but will they ever learn?

For A Friend

Some things just make me sick. And not just in a figurative way . . . like in a woah nelly there are some seriously upset frogs jumping around in my stomach area right now.

People make mistakes all the time and the smart ones learn from them. It just takes some longer than others.

No one can ever possibly find out what they need to know about someone in ten, twenty, or even thirty minutes. They don't know how that person is on a daily basis.  They don't know their ability to commit to something wholeheartedly.  They can't possibly know their pure passion for something that is so incredibly clear if you see them doing it.

Just because someone makes a few silly decisions that harmed no one else but themselves is that really a good reason to take something so incredibly invaluable away from them? I can understand a minor punishment . . . but some people are just a bit too not understanding of the flaws in others.

I've made mistakes and I have made life-altering changes because of them.  But still, some people will only see the mistakes and ignore the changes, my love for what I want to do with my life, how committed I am to achieving my dreams, the type of person I am in my everyday life.

It's horrible that some people have to be that close-minded.

Passion is something that many people nowadays are losing in their lives for what they do as a profession or even in their general day to day lives.

Who cares if you were underage and drank in college!

What about in the future?  When we are past our crazy college years and ready to settle down with a career that we are truly and utterly PASSIONATE about?

Should those silly, minuscule mistakes we made take away from our chances of being able to do something we will love for the rest of our lives?  Take away from our chances of being able to give others the experiences that could change their lives?

If I can affect just one child in my lifetime of teaching I know that my life will be complete.

But what if I was prevented from fulfilling that one lifetime dream because of an unimportant teenage act?

it's heartbreaking.

Two Weeks

Until I move back to Wilmington and begin my sophomore year of college.

Even though things aren't exactly as I thought they would be at this point in my life the good far outshadows the bad. Also, the bad is what made me make the changes that have produced the good.

I joined the UNC Wilmington Class of 2014 group on Facebook to offer my "knowledge" to the incoming freshman because, I mean, I was in the exact same position as them a year ago. I always wish I had someone to ask questions to. I see all the things they are writing on the wall and in discussions and most of them are extremely excited (rightly so) but they have no idea what they are actually getting into.  You learn and change so much as a person during even just the first year of college and of being away from home. They will have some of the best experiences of their lives and make friends that they will have for a long time to come.

They are all very excited to go to college but I think that returning students' anticipation is even greater simply because we know what we have been missing this entire summer.

On a different note, about a week ago I lost something that has been in my life for a while now. It's weird that Gossip Girl helped me think through all the stuff that went on but this quote says it all:

Blair: You blew off our most beloved tradition.
Serena: Just get over it, Blair.
Blair: Excuse me?
Serena: My whole life I have been bending over backwards to protect your feelings. And you what? It's not my fault you're so insecure.
Blair: And I'm sure it's not your fault you're so conceited.
Serena: I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back so I don't outshine you.
Blair: Oh my god. Can you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth?
Serena: It's just the truth. From now on, I'm going to be who I am. And if you can support that and not be threatened and competitive, then great. If not...

In this situation, I am Serena.

I love my life right now.

Things couldn't be going any better . . .

. . .  especially now that I have re-evaluated my relationships with everyone I surround myself with . . . gone to the dentist and had no cavities . . . and have gotten my first lady doctor visit out of the way . . .

. . . I know that in two weeks I will finally be back with my school family and in my favorite place. :)

Who Really Knows How It Feels

Lots of things have been going on in my life lately. Some good and some . . . not so good. It's easier for me to hold it in and not talk about it.  Everyone deals with their problems in different ways and this is just how I deal with mine. I don't let it interfere in my life and I don't let it change the way I act towards people . . . I just look at the world differently than most people.

I just watched a new show on Mtv called "If You Really Knew Me." It was heartbreaking and an actual reality show. Not a "reality show" like The Real World. In the show, people went into high schools and tried to break down the barriers created by cliques and stereotypes. I really wish they had that when I was in high school because then I might of had a completely different high school experience.

If people really knew me . . .

There are very few who actually do.

Who really knows how it feels to be the white girl who gets picked on for the color of her skin, day in and day out, during one the most crucial developmental periods of our lives . . . middle school.

Who really knows how it feels to say something and not even be acknowledged, to achieve something and not be recognized, or to simply be in a room and not even be seen.

Who really knows how it feels to have both parents go through major surgery within a three year period . . . one of them twice?

Who really knows how it feels to one minute be your daddy's only little girl to the next minute having two older sisters . . . one of which you never even knew existed?

Who really knows how it feels to feel completely alone even when you are constantly surrounded by people?

Who really knows how it feels to not ever be happy with what you see in the mirror or in pictures?

Who really knows how it feels to have your future threatened to be taken away from you?

Who really knows how it feels . . .

And the sad part is . . . that's not even the half of it.


If it weren't for my parents and the amazing support system I have created for myself (especially this past year) I don't know what I would do with myself.

My parents are the best out there. They are always there for me. Even when I call at 1 o'clock in the morning . . . my mom will answer and talk to me for as long as it takes. Even when I screw up big time they are accepting of me and love me unconditionally.  They tell me how special I am and how proud of me they are.

That is what gets me through my day.

The things we have or the grades we get. The money we have or the trips we go on.

They mean nothing if you don't have the right people around you. They won't make you happier.

So, tell someone how special they are to you. Tell them how the little things they do have affected you.

Everyone deserves to know how special a person they are.

Everyone deserves to know that your life would be lesser without them in it.

Everyone deserves to know that they have influenced your life for the better.

Everyone deserves to know what a gift they possess.

When I Go Back

to school I'm going to:

1. Continue working as hard, if not harder, as I did last semester.

2. Stay busy doing things for Teaching Fellows and try to get more involved on campus.

3. Get a job.

4. Volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club of Wilmington

5. Go to the gym at least three times a week, not including the exercise classes I want to start taking.

6. Not lose touch with all the great friends I made last year.

7. Try to keep my patience with the freshman because I know I was in the exact same spot as them last year (even though I would've gotten annoyed at myself).

8. Keep a more positive outlook on my life and who I am because I have made lots of changes in my life and I should be proud of that.

UPDATE:


9. Keep in better touch with my three best friends from home (that one is for you steph).

10. Go to church every Sunday (or at least try)

11. Find some sort of peer mentoring/counseling program on campus to get involved in.

Time Flies like a Hummingbird

Since I've been home from college I've:

1. Gone on Discovery, a trip that all Teaching Fellows take the summer after their freshman year of college.

2. Gotten my student loan approved. PRAISE THE LORD OR ELSE I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE THIS YEAR AND WOULD BE STUCK IN CHARLOTTE FOR THE REST OF MY GOD-FORSAKEN LIFE!

3. Gone to Raleigh for Teaching Fellows and get to keep my scholarship. ONCE AGAIN PRAISE THE LORD BECAUSE I WOULD TOTALLY HARM MYSELF IF I HAD GOTTEN IT TAKEN AWAY.

4.  Hung out with my three best friends from high school and went to a Charlotte Knights baseball game where we oogled hot baseball guys in their nice little white pants, went to see Sex and the City 2 because we each have a character that we are just like, eaten way to much Taco Bell, reminisced, and had all around, good, clean fun.

5. Gone to Myrtle Beach with another one of my best friends, Jennifer, and while we were there we also went to my favorite place (a.k.a Wilmington) and I got so tan I looked mexicano (NOT ATTRACTIVE).

6. Gone to go see my friend Jake's baseball team, the Thomasville Hi-Toms, with Jennifer.

7. WATCHED WAY TOO MUCH GOSSIP GIRL!!!!

8. Begun my recreational reading.

9. Gone to Boone with family to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday. My cousin brought her adorable 3 month old and he is the cutest, most well behaved little infant I have ever met.  My mom also made me do a song in sign language for my grandmother's birthday, which if you ask me was horrendous because I put it off and learned it like two days beforehand and had to look at the lyrics the whole time. It made my grandma cry . . . so I guess it still counts.

10. I didn't get a job.

11. Gone to Raleigh with Jennifer and stayed with my freshman year roommate, Taylor Lee, and had a great time and I almost stole one of her dogs.

12. Am now in Georgia where family friends that used to live in Florida when we did and have since moved to GA into a house on a lake. It just finished a rain so it's a little dewey, the lake is silent and beautiful, and the buzzing hummingbirds are chasing each other and playing right in front of me.

Very eventful summer, overall but I still have a little bit less than a month before I move back in at school. I really should take advantage of all the relaxing I have been/will be able to do this summer because I know once I go back to school all hell will break loose and I will have no time to relax anymore.

So, time flies like a hummingbird. At least it does for me. Even though your wings are moving so incredibly fast and you think time is going just as fast as you are . . . it's not. No matter how fast you move your wings time will not pass any faster or slower than it always does. <-- (gosh that was insightful . . . just sayin')

This Is For You

Stephanie Wooten.

I know how much you love cows and I was very upset to find out SillyBands don't make cows!

It's such a disgrace.

This is why I LEGIT just sent them this email:

I am very disappointed that your collection doesn't include cows. It seems a bit discriminatory if you ask me. Cows have feelings too and I'm sure they would be very hurt to know that their fellow farm animals (the pigs and the ducks) are stealing all their thunder. I know there are many, many cow lovers out there who would wear them proudly on their wrist in various colors. I hope you see the urgency in my speech. Cows are very important creatures. Where else would we get our milk? Goats just don't do the trick sometimes.

Again, I plead with you to consider my request.

Thank you.

Ya dig?

Mmmmmhhmmmm!!





pineapple.


pumpernickel.


persnickety.


precocious.


aaaaand another word that starts with p . . . .






let your mind wanderrrr!

LOST

No, not like the tv show.

I was reading through my old livejournal entries and I have realized something . . . I don't know if I'll ever be able to write that way ever again. All that I have gone through this past year . . . even just this past semester has changed me. What if it's gone forever? My unique thought patterns. My . . . different . . . writing style. Has what I've gone through really inhibited my writing and my way of looking at the world completely?

This worries me.

When I think about it . . . I think I've lost it, which is depressing. I loved the way I wrote those entries. I could be writing about absolutely nothing and still make it interesting (at least to certain people).

I'm scared.

Like for shiz up the spout, about to panic internally, I need a paper bag while I hyperventilate . . . SCARY.

meep.

Ruts are Badddd

So for some reason right now I feel like my like is in a rut.

Or maybe I'm in a chunk (a chick funk).

Everything just seems different. I guess it might be because I'm home . . . well, in Charlotte. As much as my parents probably hate to hear this . . . Wilmington has become my home. I love my parents and I have great relationships with both of them, but Charlotte just isn't my place. When I'm back in Charlotte I am looking forward to the next time I get to go back to my new home. The place where I am my happiest. The place where all my friends are just a short walk away, instead of a thirty minute drive.

I miss my Wilmy.

This may seem over-dramatic but I don't care . . . I am on the verge of being one of those sad little animals in Homeward Bound that just wants to be home, where they belong.

I try to look on the bright side, though. I am spending quality time with my parents. I am getting my much needed rest. I'm still keeping in contact with all my Wilmington friends. And I'll be back there, living there, in just a couple more months. Ready to start my life back up again (because God knows I don't have one while I'm home).

Sorry this wasn't so happy and silly. :)

I'll try harder next time, I promise.

Oh, and one more thing . . .

meow.

Creative Writing Workage

So, I took creative writing this past semester and had lots of fun with some of the stuff I wrote. I though I would share some of it!

These first two pieces are written about the same thing from the points of view of two different people. In this case, a boy and girl both looking at the same girl.

Of The Female

Look at her. Sitting at the front of the class thinking she’s better than everyone else. I swear she thinks that just because of her long blond hair, perfect skin, perfect clothes, and “perfect” personality she can rule the world. It’s like a poodle thinking its poop doesn’t stink, the reason simply being that its coat is just poofy enough to put that extra bounce in its step and that its nose is the perfect shade of black and always wet, but not too wet.

The worst thing about it is the fact that the teachers love her, the boys drool over her, and all the girls are so fascinated by her that they hang on her every word and think she’s the epitome of flawlessness. Everyone might as well bow down in the hallway as she walks by, lay down a red carpet wherever she walks, and constantly tell her how beautiful and impeccable she is. Just like the poodle. It’s owner gives it a pink, rhinestone incrusted food bowl with the words World’s Best Dog on it, everyone passing on the street admires it, and the breeders say how jealous they are of the owner to have such an immaculate specimen of dog. IT’S HORRIBLE!

It has to be an act. I mean, no one can be that perfect. There has to be something wrong with her. Maybe one of her boobs is bigger than the other. Webbed toes possibly? What if she was supposed to be born a twin but the other baby didn’t grow so she has a lump on her arm with tiny, little bones in it that was her twin sister! I’ll have to do some investigating.

What’s this? The girl next to me just handed me a note. I can already see the name Stacey May as I unfold the paper in the shape of an envelope. That’s her! Maybe this is just the thing that can finally reveal to me her imperfection! I finally get the paper opened all the way and it reads, “Stacey May had sex with five guys at camp over the summer. She’s ready to party this weekend.” Then they put a big smiley face at the bottom of the page. Wow. What a slut. Well I guess I got my answer. Stacey’s flaw was easy. Literally. She is easy and that is her flaw.

Of The Male

Jeez she is, like, the ultimate chick. I mean, look at her! She has long blond hair that ever so often catches the light and it glimmers like she’s a goddess or something. And her face? It’s totally awesome. She’s got these big brown eyes that could burn a hole right through you, a cute little nose that looks perfect for Eskimo kisses, and her smile. Oh, her smile. Is there even a way to describe it? If she were ever to smile at me I am for shiz up the spout that I would melt like . . . like something that melts really fast. See what she does to me? I can’t even form proper metaphors or similes or whatever they are.

As if that isn’t enough, everyone loves her. Like literally, everyone. It’s crazy. All the teachers think she’s the perfect student; all the guys (including me) are in complete agreement that she is the best thing since, like, that time they made Pepsi clear; and the girls worship her. This girl is like the chick in all the movies that all the girls want to be exactly like and all the dudes would die to be with.

If you think about it she’s kinda’ like a combination of that little teddy bear guy from the Snuggle commercials and an Abercrombie model. Just go with me here. Well, it doesn’t really take much to see how she resembles an Abercrombie model but as out there as the teddy bear idea sounds it is completely viable if you just give it some thought. It is impossible to not love the Snuggle teddy bear. Everyone does. Not only is he adorable but every time you see that smiling face come on your TV you can’t help but crack a grin. It is out of the question not to smile when I see that beautiful creature walking down the hallway in my direction, which makes it hurt that much more when she doesn’t even notice me. One of these days though. One of these days I will get Stacey May to notice me.

Woah! A piece of paper just flew past my head and onto my desk. It says, “Stacey May had sex with five guys at camp over the summer. She’s ready to party this weekend.” Guess who’s goin’ to a party this weekend and totally living the dream! This guy right here. Today is my lucky day.

These next few things are excerpts from my nonfiction piece I wrote about the time I spent in the library my second semester of college called Second Home.

I order the same thing everyday: a small mocha with whipped cream. If I had the choice, I would then proceed to sit in the same seat everyday, but that doesn’t usually work out. I am an (OCD) creature of habit . . . and I’m okay with that. This obsessive-compulsive disorder I speak of is self-diagnosed, but perfectionist just doesn’t seem to be an extreme enough word. Many times I have called attention to myself by someone noticing one my eccentricities; for instance having the need to check my back pocket at least ten times before feeling confident my phone isn’t going anywhere, everything having to stay in the exact same place, my daily happenings remaining as constant as possible or else I get anxious and the stomach pains begin, my color coordinated closet, my constant “tick” to sit perfectly, have my clothes situated perfectly, everything around me in its place, my aversion to anything dirty or messy, my mini-freak outs when I get even the smallest speck (you could only see with a microscope) of something on my clothes, not liking to touch food with my hands, germs in general, the list goes on and on. Just listing them distresses me. Clearly, not things I would like to be remembered for. These things don’t make up who I am, but they are a hefty chunk, so instead of being recognized for them I would rather not be noticed at all. It may not make sense to some people, but it makes sense in my (mixed up) mind.

One of the first experiences I had was when I was sitting at one end of a table and a tall man with shaggy blond hair who was on crutches asked if he could sit down at the other end, maybe seven or eight feet from me. Of course I said yes and we sat in silence for a few minutes until a friend of his came along. She was tall, had short blond hair, and was dressed in sweats. She looked really run down, which I later found out was due to her being sick. It’s amazing what people will say when they either don’t think you are listening or simply don’t even notice you are there (my attempt at blending in must have been working that day). This woman shared with her friend, and me indirectly, that she and her girlfriend were having trouble paying their bills and they had to decide which one of them was going to start being a stripper, I mean exotic dancer. Apparently, this woman won, or lost, if that’s how you want to look at it. She began talking about how most of the time she’ll work at the Crazy Horse, but a night or two a week she will dance at Pure Gold. She even talked about the differences between the two clubs and her preferences, as well as her stage name: something typical, unoriginal and forgettable. I just tried to keep looking down, keep myself from laughing, and stay unnoticed so she would continue with her story. I was intrigued by this woman, a lesbian stripper, which apparently isn’t as uncommon as I previously thought. I wish I could have stayed and heard more, not to judge but for the sake of the story, but my child psychology class beckoned.

Another time I was sitting in the library attempting, unsuccessfully, to write a paper. First I only heard him speaking to the man behind me and I could tell just by the shear volume of his voice that he was going to be a character and definitely something to watch. Finally, he came into view. He was a quite large, creepy-looking man wearing an oversized, gray South Pole shirt with the logo in a rainbow of colors. The next thing I noticed was that he was carrying an abnormally large Taco Bell bag filled with food, that simultaneously made my mouth water and my stomach feel nauseous simply because of the amount. As if he hadn’t made his presence known enough with his booming voice, he thought it would be a good idea to teach a random boy a lesson about keeping his skateboard on the floor next to him. The first time he passed by him he pretended to jump on the skateboard and roll away and then proceeded to lecture the boy about being careful with his skateboard and where he puts it. You would think that would be end of their interactions, but no. Strange Man decided it would be good idea that every time he passed by Skateboard Boy, which was at least four or five times, he would pretend to steal the skateboard and laugh like what he was doing wasn’t super weird. That’s all, right? Wrong. There was girl sitting with Skateboard Boy, and Strange Man came to the conclusion that he should stand there talking to her for about ten minutes about her taxes. She looked like she was in pain the entire time. After Strange Man left, Skateboard Boy and the girl didn’t say a word to one another, but instead just stared at each other because one could tell what the other was thinking: “What just happened, here?” It was priceless. I’ve since seen Strange Man, but that time he was wearing an oversized Hawaiian print shirt and carrying a black bag of mysteries.

These aren’t exactly things you see everyday and to some people they may just be odd people, but for me they are people who seem to be confident in their oddities and aren’t afraid to call attention to themselves. At the same time though, they make me feel like my quirks aren’t as bad as they could be. I hate to say it but, they make me feel . . . ordinary.

Oh, here’s an adorable one. Once again, sitting and trying to write a paper (it just wasn’t working for me though) I spotted a boy, well . . . a man, I guess. At first all I noticed was that he was a big, burly man; all manly in his manliness and such. Sunglasses sitting on top of his head, headphones that looked like Oreos covering his ears, a striped jacket colored with different shades of brown, and his bare feet propped up on the table in front of him. Then I looked closer; he is reading Marley and Me and had the sweetest little grin on his face. I even heard him giggle like a little schoolgirl a few times. Maybe it’s just me, but that is one of the cutest things I ever did see.

Then there are always the little things I see that don’t mean much, but are always a sight to see. There was the man dressed in all navy blue who, even though his sweater was pretty hefty, looked like he had breasts, the woman whom it was obvious had just gotten a nose job, and the eerie looking boy with the curly mowkawk with a little pink coloring thrown in there for a little spice.

I also could never forget about Mr. Clean; a man with one of the lowest voices I have ever heard, is incredibly tall, wears pants that are too tight and too short for him, shirts that look like they are from the Baby Gap, and is never without the neon orange baseball hat, worn backwards of course. Then, there’s the chubby Mario! I call him Mario because of the fact that he has one of those greasy mustaches that curl up into little swirlies and a bowl cut. Enough said. He’s a cool dude.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my snippets. And if not, that's ok too. To each his own. Whatever floats your boat. And all those other sayings that basically mean that you are free to like whatever you want. :)

New person. Old place.

Today was the day that I was to see my Wilmington best friend, Jennifer. It's sad that we didn't start hanging out until the second semester of freshman year, but at least we are together now. We got really close over this past semester and the fantastic thing is that she lives in Gastonia (about a 30 minute drive from my house)!

We are a match made in heaven. We both hate the sound of someone brushing their teeth and we both hate that purple stuff they put in salads. Obviously those aren't the only things we have in common . . . they are just a couple of the odd things.

We used to hang out everyday when we were at school but now that we are home for the summer we still talk everyday but it's just not the same, ya know? I know you know. So, we decided that we were going to hang out before we went on Discovery (even though we will both be going). Well, today was that day. She picked me up in Joe the Jeep and her dad offered to take us to lunch so, of course, we couldn't pass that up. I was meeting the parent! Hahaha (no homo). So we went to this fish place and we all got chicken tenders and ate some of the best hush puppies EVERRRR. Yeah . . . we are just that cool. After lunch we headed off to the mall.

We went in a few different stores and I bought a cute, flowery dress at Forever 21 for only $9.80. Totally a fabulous find and I can probably wear it for Discovery!

We even went into a store that sells prom dresses and wedding dresses and tried on some of the most Jerseylicious dresses I ever did see. Mine was black and neon pink zebra and Jennifer's was black and neon green zebra.



We had such a good time and it really worked it keeping my mind off of my dad's impending surgery.

Finally (unfortunately) it was time to part ways. We will see each other in four days but still . . .

Now, tomorrow we have to get up early and go to the hospital for my dad's surgery. We have to get there at 7:45 in the morning so needless to say . . . it's going to be a long day.

For now, I leave you with this thought:
What would the world look like if everything was in black and neon colored zebra stripes?

Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious

Right now it seems like my life is full of ups and downs.

The downs: to make it short and sweet. My dad is having a big surgery this Thursday . . . well, tomorrow. He'll probably be in the hospital a week. As if this isn't scary enough, I'll be on Discovery (which you'll learn about later) almost the entire time he's in the hospital and for his first few days back home. I'm sure I'll be able to concentrate on what I am supposed to be learn about North Carolina school systems while my dad is laying in the hospital (sarcasm). This all sucks . . . but we got through his triple bypass open heart surgery and we'll get through this too. The Lord would not have made us go through this if he didn't think we could handle it.

Now the ups:
Along with all the good things happening in my life that I mentioned in my last post I also just had one of the most amazing times with two of my three best friends.

I hadn't seen Lindsay since Easter Break and I hadn't seen Stephanie since one day over my Spring Break. This hasn't been our longest absence from one another by far but for people used to see each other everyday and have sleepovers constantly in high school if it is longer than a day . . . it's too long to be apart. But we have survived. We are still the four best friends anyone could have (I altered the Hangover quote, but you get the idea).

Gazell (a.k.a. Janell, for future references) is still in Texas, but she will be coming back to us in the middle of June and we couldn't be more ecstatic. We will be like cute little otters who have just gotten some fresh fish to snack on!

I wanted to see Stephanie and Lindsay before I left for Discovery (a trip that all Teaching Fellows take the summer after their freshman year) this Sunday so we set the date for Monday. The day couldn't have been any more beautiful and perfect. It started off with my dad bringing me to Stephanie's around 10:30 in the morning. We knew it was too pretty outside to spend the entire day inside or riding around in a car so we decided to mix things up . . . go a little craaaaazy.

Almost as soon as I got to Stephanie's we went outside to ride bikes/skateboard. Stephanie was going to skateboard and Lindsay, as uncoordinated as she is, (I love you Lindsay but you know it's true) was going to skateboard too as I rode my bike. Well, as soon as Lindz stepped on the skateboard we all knew it wouldn't turn out well. This is when I decided that Lindz would ride my bike and I would make my attempt at skateboarding, which, at the time, I didn't think would go very well. SURPRISINGLY I was semi-ok at it! Ever since I've been at college and I've seen all these people skateboarding around campus I think to myself I wanna be one of those cool girls who skateboards! And I never thought it would actually happen. But there I was, riding that skateboard like a boss (hehe that phrase is so out of character for me but I had to use it) and thinking (well . . . saying out loud a couple times) Taylor Lee is going to be so jealous of me! IS ANYONE GETTING A PICTURE/VIDEO OF THIS!!! I really wish someone had some sort of documentation of my first ever skateboarding adventure of epicness . . . but sadly no.

We decided it would be a good idea to go down to the park by Stephanie's house and experience us some nature. When we left our skateboards and bike behind we ventured into the woods only to find a cute little kitty cat come out of nowhere! It was adorable and started to follow us wherever we went and rolling around around on the ground saying Look at me! Look how adorably cute I am! Obviously it didn't say that . . . but you get the idea. We named is Buttascotch (and yes I spelled that right, it's meant to be said with a northern accent). We weren't exactly sure if it was a boy or a girl cause it had long hair down there and we got no response when we asked . . . so Buttascotch remains an "it". Also, when we tried to get a picture of it, it ran away. I guess Buttascotch is camera shy. We swang on the swings for a little bit and then decided we were hungry so we headed back to Stephanie's house.

When we got there we filled up the air in the tires of a couple of the bikes that Stephanie had at her house because we knew it would take forever if we skateboarded all the way to lunch. After we were finished we rode our bikes all the way from Stephanie's house to the Arboretum, where the McDonalds is. We then proceeded to park our bikes in a car parking spot. Actual picture shown here:

We had our McDonalds and then decided we were going to ride our bikes to Stephanie's little sister, Amy's, school. Just because we're cool like that. She was happy to see me. :)

After we saw Amy (and felt sufficiently creeperish as sophomores in college hanging around a high school) we began our treck up the huge hill back to Stephanie's house. By the time we got back to her house we were (semi) exhausted and needed us some breakage.

This is where the excessive tweeting, facebooking, and real-life creeping began.

I have recently discovered a site called stumbleupon.com and I have to say . . . it is VERY addicting. There is something for everyone and I love to share with the world. What can I say? If more people followed me on Twitter they would be able to get in on all this awesomeness as well.

You're probably wondering about the real-life creeping.

Well . . . Stephanie's (evil) neighbor decided it would be a good idea to cut down Stephanie's favorite tree. When we got back from lunch there were men outside preparing to do said cutting down. Amy was very intrigued by these men and I decided I was going to take pictures . . . through the kitchen window of Stephanie's house. One of said pictures is below:


Don't judge me.

I then went back to stumbleuponing.

Finally we packed up our things and got into Lindsay's car. Which was an especially fantastic feat considering Lindsay and I fit my ginormous bike in her car. I had to sit in the trunk though

It was a little scary.

But I survived.

When we got to Lindsay's house we three starving girls made some mac and cheese and some bagel bites and watched House (in all his scruffy hotness, Steph would say here). After house was over these three CRAZY, PARTYING college girls all snuggled up together on the couch, ate them some frosted sugar cookies, and watched The Golden Girls (and sang the theme song at the top of our lungs . . . in unison). Finally, at the late hour of 11 o'clock, it was time for bed.

Wow, we are just so crazy. Nobody can handle this. It's just a fact of life. We just party too hard.

Bahahahahahaha . . . I couldn't even type it without laughing.

When we woke up this morning all three of us huddled up in Lindsay's bed and read old text messages.

Sometimes it sucks being with them because I realize how much it sucks being without them.

Absolutely no one knows me like they do.

ANYWAYS, CHANGING THE SUBJECT NOW

For all of you who don't know . . . I kinda like badgers. I like posting pictures of them on my friends' walls and making up personalities for them . . .

Don't judge me. The first step is admitting you have a problem. I have done that and I'm ok with it.

So . . . as I was stumbleuponing today I found two adorable pictures that prove badgers aren't always evil. Said pictures are pictured below:

I mean COME ON! Look at those faces! I wouldn't be able to resist. I just wanna put them in my pocket and feed them corn pops!

OK FOR REALLLLL!! I am FOR SHIZ up the spout that this badger is not about to eat this baby fox. They are best friends and the most adorable duo EVERRRRRRR! I'm not sayin . . . I'm just sayin.

This is where I was going to revert to angry Keslie and begin to rant about the unfair treatment of education majors as opposed to . . . ohhh idk . . . athletes.

But I'll save that for another time.

Meanwhile, I am trying to keep in touch with everyone from school. I love it.

Wow

It has been a really long time since I've updated this. I mean, my last update was when I was falling into a deep spiral of depression and thought my life was ending.

Oh how the tides have turned.

My second semester of my freshman year of college was full of ups and downs. But the downs are what made me who I am now so I don't like to think of them as bad things.

I worked really hard this semester and ended with a bang.

I . . .

was the Teaching Fellow with the most events this semester.

elected as one of two sophomore representatives for Teaching Fellows next year.

got four A's, two A-'s, and one B+ in my eighteen hours of classes.

realized just how many fantastic friends and great memories I have made this year.


We all make mistakes, but I learned from mine and I am a better person because of them.

I love my life right now and wouldn't change a thing.

. . . well, having a boy might make it that much better, but I'm not complaining.

Short and Sweet . . . just wondering

If I am the good person people say I am. . . someone who people say doesn't deserve what is happening to her . . .

then why in the hell is it happening?

I'm not a strong enough person for all this.

Why does it have to be me that gets into trouble for things that everyone around me does too?

I make lots of changes for the better in my life and try my hardest to do everyone perfect and right and the universe still shits on me, not matter what I do.

I'm screwed.

See ya later hopes and dreams . . . cause that's what you're going to stay: hopes and dreams.

A Day Of Excitement . . . kinda

Today is the first day since Christmas break 2009 that I have seen my best friends in the whole entire world: Stephanie Cheryl Wooten and Lindsay Michelle Carver. It's too bad Gaz can't be here . . . but she is here in spirit. I miss them all so much while we are all away at school! We keep in touch through Twitter and LiveJournal (now blogspot) . . . and sometimes Skype, but it's just not the same.

We are taking advantage of this one day that the three of us are in Charlotte at the same time and having a sleepover, just like we used to do in high school.

I am posting this so that Steph won't be disappointed anymore when she goes to my page and sees nothing posted.

When I get the time I am going to introduce the world to my school family . . . a very . . . unique one to say the least.

Love,

Keslie