Until I move back to Wilmington and begin my sophomore year of college.
Even though things aren't exactly as I thought they would be at this point in my life the good far outshadows the bad. Also, the bad is what made me make the changes that have produced the good.
I joined the UNC Wilmington Class of 2014 group on Facebook to offer my "knowledge" to the incoming freshman because, I mean, I was in the exact same position as them a year ago. I always wish I had someone to ask questions to. I see all the things they are writing on the wall and in discussions and most of them are extremely excited (rightly so) but they have no idea what they are actually getting into. You learn and change so much as a person during even just the first year of college and of being away from home. They will have some of the best experiences of their lives and make friends that they will have for a long time to come.
They are all very excited to go to college but I think that returning students' anticipation is even greater simply because we know what we have been missing this entire summer.
On a different note, about a week ago I lost something that has been in my life for a while now. It's weird that Gossip Girl helped me think through all the stuff that went on but this quote says it all:
Blair: You blew off our most beloved tradition.
Serena: Just get over it, Blair.
Blair: Excuse me?
Serena: My whole life I have been bending over backwards to protect your feelings. And you what? It's not my fault you're so insecure.
Blair: And I'm sure it's not your fault you're so conceited.
Serena: I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back so I don't outshine you.
Blair: Oh my god. Can you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth?
Serena: It's just the truth. From now on, I'm going to be who I am. And if you can support that and not be threatened and competitive, then great. If not...
In this situation, I am Serena.
I love my life right now.
Things couldn't be going any better . . .
. . . especially now that I have re-evaluated my relationships with everyone I surround myself with . . . gone to the dentist and had no cavities . . . and have gotten my first lady doctor visit out of the way . . .
. . . I know that in two weeks I will finally be back with my school family and in my favorite place. :)
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Who Really Knows How It Feels
Lots of things have been going on in my life lately. Some good and some . . . not so good. It's easier for me to hold it in and not talk about it. Everyone deals with their problems in different ways and this is just how I deal with mine. I don't let it interfere in my life and I don't let it change the way I act towards people . . . I just look at the world differently than most people.
I just watched a new show on Mtv called "If You Really Knew Me." It was heartbreaking and an actual reality show. Not a "reality show" like The Real World. In the show, people went into high schools and tried to break down the barriers created by cliques and stereotypes. I really wish they had that when I was in high school because then I might of had a completely different high school experience.
If people really knew me . . .
There are very few who actually do.
Who really knows how it feels to be the white girl who gets picked on for the color of her skin, day in and day out, during one the most crucial developmental periods of our lives . . . middle school.
Who really knows how it feels to say something and not even be acknowledged, to achieve something and not be recognized, or to simply be in a room and not even be seen.
Who really knows how it feels to have both parents go through major surgery within a three year period . . . one of them twice?
Who really knows how it feels to one minute be your daddy's only little girl to the next minute having two older sisters . . . one of which you never even knew existed?
Who really knows how it feels to feel completely alone even when you are constantly surrounded by people?
Who really knows how it feels to not ever be happy with what you see in the mirror or in pictures?
Who really knows how it feels to have your future threatened to be taken away from you?
Who really knows how it feels . . .
And the sad part is . . . that's not even the half of it.
If it weren't for my parents and the amazing support system I have created for myself (especially this past year) I don't know what I would do with myself.
My parents are the best out there. They are always there for me. Even when I call at 1 o'clock in the morning . . . my mom will answer and talk to me for as long as it takes. Even when I screw up big time they are accepting of me and love me unconditionally. They tell me how special I am and how proud of me they are.
That is what gets me through my day.
The things we have or the grades we get. The money we have or the trips we go on.
They mean nothing if you don't have the right people around you. They won't make you happier.
So, tell someone how special they are to you. Tell them how the little things they do have affected you.
Everyone deserves to know how special a person they are.
Everyone deserves to know that your life would be lesser without them in it.
Everyone deserves to know that they have influenced your life for the better.
Everyone deserves to know what a gift they possess.
I just watched a new show on Mtv called "If You Really Knew Me." It was heartbreaking and an actual reality show. Not a "reality show" like The Real World. In the show, people went into high schools and tried to break down the barriers created by cliques and stereotypes. I really wish they had that when I was in high school because then I might of had a completely different high school experience.
If people really knew me . . .
There are very few who actually do.
Who really knows how it feels to be the white girl who gets picked on for the color of her skin, day in and day out, during one the most crucial developmental periods of our lives . . . middle school.
Who really knows how it feels to say something and not even be acknowledged, to achieve something and not be recognized, or to simply be in a room and not even be seen.
Who really knows how it feels to have both parents go through major surgery within a three year period . . . one of them twice?
Who really knows how it feels to one minute be your daddy's only little girl to the next minute having two older sisters . . . one of which you never even knew existed?
Who really knows how it feels to feel completely alone even when you are constantly surrounded by people?
Who really knows how it feels to not ever be happy with what you see in the mirror or in pictures?
Who really knows how it feels to have your future threatened to be taken away from you?
Who really knows how it feels . . .
And the sad part is . . . that's not even the half of it.
If it weren't for my parents and the amazing support system I have created for myself (especially this past year) I don't know what I would do with myself.
My parents are the best out there. They are always there for me. Even when I call at 1 o'clock in the morning . . . my mom will answer and talk to me for as long as it takes. Even when I screw up big time they are accepting of me and love me unconditionally. They tell me how special I am and how proud of me they are.
That is what gets me through my day.
The things we have or the grades we get. The money we have or the trips we go on.
They mean nothing if you don't have the right people around you. They won't make you happier.
So, tell someone how special they are to you. Tell them how the little things they do have affected you.
Everyone deserves to know how special a person they are.
Everyone deserves to know that your life would be lesser without them in it.
Everyone deserves to know that they have influenced your life for the better.
Everyone deserves to know what a gift they possess.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
When I Go Back
to school I'm going to:
1. Continue working as hard, if not harder, as I did last semester.
2. Stay busy doing things for Teaching Fellows and try to get more involved on campus.
3. Get a job.
4. Volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club of Wilmington
5. Go to the gym at least three times a week, not including the exercise classes I want to start taking.
6. Not lose touch with all the great friends I made last year.
7. Try to keep my patience with the freshman because I know I was in the exact same spot as them last year (even though I would've gotten annoyed at myself).
8. Keep a more positive outlook on my life and who I am because I have made lots of changes in my life and I should be proud of that.
UPDATE:
9. Keep in better touch with my three best friends from home (that one is for you steph).
10. Go to church every Sunday (or at least try)
11. Find some sort of peer mentoring/counseling program on campus to get involved in.
1. Continue working as hard, if not harder, as I did last semester.
2. Stay busy doing things for Teaching Fellows and try to get more involved on campus.
3. Get a job.
4. Volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club of Wilmington
5. Go to the gym at least three times a week, not including the exercise classes I want to start taking.
6. Not lose touch with all the great friends I made last year.
7. Try to keep my patience with the freshman because I know I was in the exact same spot as them last year (even though I would've gotten annoyed at myself).
8. Keep a more positive outlook on my life and who I am because I have made lots of changes in my life and I should be proud of that.
UPDATE:
10. Go to church every Sunday (or at least try)
11. Find some sort of peer mentoring/counseling program on campus to get involved in.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Time Flies like a Hummingbird
Since I've been home from college I've:
1. Gone on Discovery, a trip that all Teaching Fellows take the summer after their freshman year of college.
2. Gotten my student loan approved. PRAISE THE LORD OR ELSE I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE THIS YEAR AND WOULD BE STUCK IN CHARLOTTE FOR THE REST OF MY GOD-FORSAKEN LIFE!
3. Gone to Raleigh for Teaching Fellows and get to keep my scholarship. ONCE AGAIN PRAISE THE LORD BECAUSE I WOULD TOTALLY HARM MYSELF IF I HAD GOTTEN IT TAKEN AWAY.
4. Hung out with my three best friends from high school and went to a Charlotte Knights baseball game where we oogled hot baseball guys in their nice little white pants, went to see Sex and the City 2 because we each have a character that we are just like, eaten way to much Taco Bell, reminisced, and had all around, good, clean fun.
5. Gone to Myrtle Beach with another one of my best friends, Jennifer, and while we were there we also went to my favorite place (a.k.a Wilmington) and I got so tan I looked mexicano (NOT ATTRACTIVE).
6. Gone to go see my friend Jake's baseball team, the Thomasville Hi-Toms, with Jennifer.
7. WATCHED WAY TOO MUCH GOSSIP GIRL!!!!
8. Begun my recreational reading.
9. Gone to Boone with family to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday. My cousin brought her adorable 3 month old and he is the cutest, most well behaved little infant I have ever met. My mom also made me do a song in sign language for my grandmother's birthday, which if you ask me was horrendous because I put it off and learned it like two days beforehand and had to look at the lyrics the whole time. It made my grandma cry . . . so I guess it still counts.
10. I didn't get a job.
11. Gone to Raleigh with Jennifer and stayed with my freshman year roommate, Taylor Lee, and had a great time and I almost stole one of her dogs.
12. Am now in Georgia where family friends that used to live in Florida when we did and have since moved to GA into a house on a lake. It just finished a rain so it's a little dewey, the lake is silent and beautiful, and the buzzing hummingbirds are chasing each other and playing right in front of me.
Very eventful summer, overall but I still have a little bit less than a month before I move back in at school. I really should take advantage of all the relaxing I have been/will be able to do this summer because I know once I go back to school all hell will break loose and I will have no time to relax anymore.
So, time flies like a hummingbird. At least it does for me. Even though your wings are moving so incredibly fast and you think time is going just as fast as you are . . . it's not. No matter how fast you move your wings time will not pass any faster or slower than it always does. <-- (gosh that was insightful . . . just sayin')
1. Gone on Discovery, a trip that all Teaching Fellows take the summer after their freshman year of college.
2. Gotten my student loan approved. PRAISE THE LORD OR ELSE I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE THIS YEAR AND WOULD BE STUCK IN CHARLOTTE FOR THE REST OF MY GOD-FORSAKEN LIFE!
3. Gone to Raleigh for Teaching Fellows and get to keep my scholarship. ONCE AGAIN PRAISE THE LORD BECAUSE I WOULD TOTALLY HARM MYSELF IF I HAD GOTTEN IT TAKEN AWAY.
4. Hung out with my three best friends from high school and went to a Charlotte Knights baseball game where we oogled hot baseball guys in their nice little white pants, went to see Sex and the City 2 because we each have a character that we are just like, eaten way to much Taco Bell, reminisced, and had all around, good, clean fun.
5. Gone to Myrtle Beach with another one of my best friends, Jennifer, and while we were there we also went to my favorite place (a.k.a Wilmington) and I got so tan I looked mexicano (NOT ATTRACTIVE).
6. Gone to go see my friend Jake's baseball team, the Thomasville Hi-Toms, with Jennifer.
7. WATCHED WAY TOO MUCH GOSSIP GIRL!!!!
8. Begun my recreational reading.
9. Gone to Boone with family to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday. My cousin brought her adorable 3 month old and he is the cutest, most well behaved little infant I have ever met. My mom also made me do a song in sign language for my grandmother's birthday, which if you ask me was horrendous because I put it off and learned it like two days beforehand and had to look at the lyrics the whole time. It made my grandma cry . . . so I guess it still counts.
10. I didn't get a job.
11. Gone to Raleigh with Jennifer and stayed with my freshman year roommate, Taylor Lee, and had a great time and I almost stole one of her dogs.
12. Am now in Georgia where family friends that used to live in Florida when we did and have since moved to GA into a house on a lake. It just finished a rain so it's a little dewey, the lake is silent and beautiful, and the buzzing hummingbirds are chasing each other and playing right in front of me.
Very eventful summer, overall but I still have a little bit less than a month before I move back in at school. I really should take advantage of all the relaxing I have been/will be able to do this summer because I know once I go back to school all hell will break loose and I will have no time to relax anymore.
So, time flies like a hummingbird. At least it does for me. Even though your wings are moving so incredibly fast and you think time is going just as fast as you are . . . it's not. No matter how fast you move your wings time will not pass any faster or slower than it always does. <-- (gosh that was insightful . . . just sayin')
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